Son: “I’ve Failed In Five Subjects”

Dad: “From Now Onwards Don’t Call Me Dad”

Son: “Oh Come On Dad, Its My School Test Not A DNA Test“

Santa: “I’m In A Hurry Doctor, Can I Leave My Underwear Here“

When Girl Cheats A Boy – He Suicides,

Hence Girls Kill A Life.

But When Boy Cheats A Girl – A Baby Is Born,

Hence Boys Give A Life.

“Any Man Can Fuck Hundred Girls,

But Only A Real Man Can Fuck One Girl In A Hundred Ways” Thats True Sex.

Please Give Clothes To All Those Poor Ladies In Daddys Laptop,

And Please Provide Houses To People Who Use Mums Room When Dads At Work.

Anuj Said: “I Know What You Are Thinking And We Are Just Roomates”

A Week Passed And Sonia Said To Anuj: “I’m Not Saying Your Mother Did Take It And I’m Not Saying Your Mother Did Not Take It,

But Ever Since She Came To Dinner Last Week I Haven’t Been Able To Find My Beautiful Silver Chutney Jar”

Anuj Said: “He Would Ask His Mother” So He E-Mailed Her,

Mother: “I Am Not Saying That You Did Take The Silver Chutney Jar And I Am Not Saying That You Did Not Take The Silver Chutney Jar”

Anuj’s Mother Replied Back:”Anuj I Am Not Saying That You Do Sleep With Sonia And I Am Not Saying That You Do Not Sleep With Sonia But Fact Is If Sonia Was Sleeping In Her Own Bed She Would Have Been Able To Find The Chutney Jar By Now“

So, He Went To The Doctor To Have A Sperm Count Done.

The Doctor Told Him To Take A Specimen Cup Home, Fill It, And Bring It Back The Next Day.

He Elderly Man Came Back The Next Day And The Specimen Cup Was Empty And The Lid Was On It.

Doctor: “What Was The Problem?”

Elderly Man: “Well, You I Tried With My Right Hand…Nothing. So, I Tried With My Left Hand…Nothing. My Wife Tried With Her Right Hand…Nothing. Her Left Hand…Nothing. Her Mouth…Nothing. Then My Wife’s Friend Tried. Right Hand, Left Hand, Mouth…Still Nothing.”

Doctor: “Wait A Minute. You Mean Your Wife’s Friend Too?”

Elderly Man: “Yeah, And We Still Couldn’t Get The Lid Off Of The Specimen Cup“

They Stopped At The Corner To Wait For The Passing Traffic.

The Dog, At This Point, Started Pissing On The Mans Leg.

As The Dog Finished The Man Reached Into His Coat Pocket And Pulled Out A Doggie Treat And Started Waving It At The Dog.

A Passerby Saw All The Events Happening And Was Shocked.

He Approached The Blind Man And Asked How He Could Possibly Reward The Dog For Such A Nasty Deed.

The Blind Man Replied “Oh I’m Not Rewarding Him, I’m Just Trying To Find His Head So I Can Kick His Fuckin’ Ass“

The Brain Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Run All The Body’s Systems, So Without Me Nothing Would Happen”

The Heart Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Pump The Blood And Circulate Oxygen All Over The Body, So Without Me You’d All Waste Away.”

The Stomach Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I Process Food And Give All Of You Energy.”

The Rectum Said: “I Should Be In Charge, Because I’m Responsible For Waste Removal.”

All The Other Body Parts Laughed At The Rectum And Insulted Him, So In A Huff, He Shut Down Tight.

Within A Few Days, The Brain Had A Terrible Headache, The Stomach Was Bloated, And The Blood Was Toxic.

Eventually The Other Organs Gave In. They All Agreed That The Rectum Should Be The Boss.

The Moral Of The Story? The Asshole Is Always In Charge.

He Sits Down And Notices 4 Buttons- WW, WA, PP & APR.

Curious, He Presses WW & He Is Gently Sprayed With Warm Water,

Then WA, A Blast Of Warm Air Dries Him.

Then PP, A Powder Puff Which Left Him Smelling Fresh.

Feeling Pampered He Presses APR.

Next Day He Wakes Up In Hospital.

He Asked the nurse: “What Happened To Me, All I Remember Is I Pressed APR”

A Nurse Smiled And Said “APR Meant Automatic Pad Remover Your Cock And Balls Are In This Jar, If You Want, Take Them.”