Non Veg Jokes » English Sexy Jokes

A Female When In….

admin — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 08:40:39 +0000

A Female When In Thirties Is Like A Football
22 Players Running After Her

A Female When In Forties Is Like A Basketball
12 Players Running After Her

A Female When In Fifties Is Like A Golf Ball
One Man Running After Her

A Female In The Sixties Is Like A Table tennis Ball
Each One Is Pushing Her To The Other Guy

Beauty Is Not Judged By Your Clothes

admin — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:10:12 +0000

Beauty Is Not Judged By Your Clothes Or Your Appearance

It Is Judged By Your Inner Self

So Daily Change Your “Kachha”

Kachha = Underwear

Difference Between Hook Of Bra And Hook In Cricket?

admin — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 04:35:14 +0000

Q. What Is The Difference Between Hook Of Bra And Hook In Cricket?

A. One Keeps Balls Within The Boundary And Other Sends Ball Out Of Boundary.

99 Condoms

admin — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 06:17:22 +0000

A Guy Walk Into A Local Pharmacy & Walks Up To The Counter Where Lady Pharmacists Is Filling Perception.

Guy: “I’d Like 99 Condoms Please”

Lady Pharmacist Surprises & Says: “Fuck Me…!!!”

Boy Replies: “Ok, Make It 100 …”

That’s The Spirit ..

A Woman’s Body Has Five Rooms

admin — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 05:29:42 +0000

According 2 Chinese Docs, A Woman’s Body Has Five Rooms:

Face – Show Room
Boobs – Play Room
Tummy – Store Room
Vagina – Men’s Room
Anus – Emergency Room

Difference Between A Secretary And Personal Secretary

admin — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 11:28:24 +0000

Difference Between A Secretary And Personal Secretary:

Secretary: “Good Morning, Sir.”

Personal Secretary: “It’s Morning. Sir.“

Three Qualities In Wives

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 11:23:49 +0000

Men Want Three Qualities In Their Wives:

Economist In Kitchen
Artist In Home
Devil In Bed.

But Unfortunately They Get

Artist In Kitchen
Devil In Home
Economist In Bed.

Love Marriage Vs Arranged Marriage

admin — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:29:36 +0000

Why Girls Think That Love Marriage Is Better Than Arranged?

Because A Known Sucker Is Better Than A Unknown Fucker.

So Users What do you think which is better? Please share your thoughts in comments.

Finger Vs Boyfriend

admin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 03:49:07 +0000

For Variety, You Have Ten To Choose From.
You Can’t Get Pregnant From Your Fingers.
You Always Have Them With You.
They Won’t Ask: Am I The First?
You Can Use More Than 1 At A Time.
They Don’t Have Aids.
You Can Stop If You Want To.
You Can Also Use Them To Clean The Wax Out Of Your Ears.
They Don’t Take Up Half The Bed At Night.
If The Ones You Are Using Get Tired, You Can Switch To Some Of The Others.
You Can Also Share Them With A Friend.
Your Fingers Won’t Just Fall Asleep Afterward.
Fingers Don’t Cheat On You.
No One Ever Fell In Love With Their Fingers.
You Always Know Where Your Fingers Have Been.
They Don’t Want To Know Where You Were Last Evening.
They Come In Sizes – Thumb To Pinkie, Or Any Combination Thereof, It’s Up To You.
They Won’t Finish Just Before You Reach Orgasm.

So Girls and boys please share your thoughts and more benefits of Fingers in the comment.

T-Shirts Slogans

admin — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 04:44:09 +0000

Nobody Knows That I Am Not Wearing Underwear
Please Tell Ur Boobs To Quit Staring At My Eyes!
Virginity Is Not Dignity It Is Lack Of Opportunity
Come Behind The Pyramid & I Will Make U A Mummy

She Has A Cute Vagina

admin — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 05:25:52 +0000

A Man To Cardiologist Angrily: “How Dare You Tell My Wife That She Has A Cute Vagina”

Doctor Replied: “Stupid, I Told Her That She Has Acute Angina.“

Old Man’s Stories

admin — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 04:17:27 +0000

The First One Said: “My Hands Shake So Bad That Today I Shaved And I Cut My Face!”

Second Old Man. “My Hands Shake So Bad That When I Trimmed My Garden Yesterday I Sliced All My Flowers!”

The Third Old Man Laughed And Said: “That’s Nothing Friends. My Hands Shake So Bad That When I Took A Piss Yesterday, I Came Two Times.“

You Blow Me You Feel Good, What Am I?

admin — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 05:03:03 +0000

I Come In Many Sizes, When I’m Not Well, I Drip, When You Blow Me You Feel Good, What Am I?

A Nose

You Blow Me Hard, What Am I?

admin — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 13:02:55 +0000

I Go In Hard, I Come Out Soft, You Blow Me Hard, What Am I?

Chewing Gum

Best Man Always Has Me First. What Am I?

admin — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 06:00:39 +0000

A Finger Goes In Me. You Fiddle With Me When You’re Bored. The Best Man Always Has Me First. What Am I?

A Wedding Ring

Definition Of Old Age?

admin — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:08:04 +0000

What Is The Definition Of Old Age?

When It Takes The Whole Night To Do What You Used To Do The Whole Night!

Similarity Between A Dick And A Matchstick?

admin — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 08:07:30 +0000

What Is The Similarity Between A Penis And A Matchstick?

Both Have A Head But Without Brains And They Both Flare Up At Slightest Friction.

Luck And Fu.ck

admin — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 13:19:39 +0000

Luck And Fuck Are Directly Proportional To Each Other,

When Luck In Your Favors, You Can Fuck Whole World,

But When It Doesn’t, Whole World Will Fuck You !!!

Burning Of Calories In Sex

admin — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 10:23:07 +0000

Burning Of Calories In Sex

Lying: “90 Cal”

Standing: “492 Cal”

Dogy: “326 Cal”

2nd Round: “824 Cal”

&

If During Sex You Wife Knocks At The Door You May Lose 5000 Cal At The Time

Symbols Of Love

admin — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 10:23:04 +0000

Symbols Of Love

Nipple: “Peak Of Love”

Boobs: “Shape Of Love”

Penis: “Length Of Love”

Cunt: “Depth Of Love”

Ass: “Base Of Love”

Testicles: “Weight Of Love”

Fuck: “Experience Of Love”

Suck: “Taste Of Love”

Masturbation: “Substitute For Love”

Condom: “Care For Love”

Sperm: “Cream Of Love”

Marriage: “Mistake Of Love“

Types Of Sex

admin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 10:21:22 +0000

House Sex – When You Are Newly Married And Have Sex All Over The House In Every Room.

Bedroom Sex – After You Have Been Married For A While, You Only Have Sex In The Bedroom.

Hall Sex – After You’ve Been Married For Many, Many Years You Just Pass Each Other In The Hall And Say “Fuck You”

Courtroom Sex – When Your Wife And Her Lawyer Fuck You In The Divorce Court In Front Of Many People For Every Penny You’ve Got.

Why Buffelo Looks Nervous After Giving Milk?

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 10:57:11 +0000

Teacher in Class To Children: “Why Buffelo Looks Nervous After Giving Milk?”

Johny Answered: “Madam Someone Press Your Boobs For One Hour & Don’t Fuck You. How Do You Feel?“

What About 9 Inches?

admin — Wed, 19 May 2010 11:57:06 +0000

A Bio Teacher Was Telling Her Students: “For The Best Penetrations 6 – 7 Inch Penis Is Best.”

One Of The Girl Asked Her: “Maam, What About 9 Inches?”

Teacher Said: “I Am Telling You About Necessity Not Luxury“

Can I Kiss You?

admin — Thu, 06 May 2010 11:53:44 +0000

Boy Asked To A Girl: “Can I Kiss You?”

Girl Answered: “Yes! Of Course, But Where? On Vertical Or Horizontal Lips?”

Boy: “What?”

Girl: “I Mean On Upper Or Lower Lips?”

Boy: “I Did Not Get You?”

Irritated Girl: “Chutiyae, Hontho Pe Ya Chut Pe?“

Why Do Women Wear Panty?

admin — Tue, 04 May 2010 12:00:10 +0000

Why Do Women Wear Panty?

Because State Law Says All Main-Holes Must Be Covered When Not In Use.