Santa traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it was occupied.
The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendants` ladies room but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.
When he arrived in the attendants` ladies room, next to the paper roll there were four buttons marked: WW, WA, PP, and ATR.
Making the mistake soooo many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him. He carefully pressed the WW button, and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed onto his bare bottom.
He thought, “Wow, these gals really have it nice!”
So a little more boldly, he pressed the WA button, and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably.
“Aha,” he thought, “no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!”
So he pushed the next button, PP, with anticipation. A soft, disposable Powder Puff swung below him and dusted his bottom lightly with talc.
“Man, this is great,” he thought as he reached out for the ATR button.
When he awoke in the hospital, the morphine was just wearing off. Confused, he buzzed the nurse to find out what had happened. He explained that the last thing he remembered was
intense pain in the ladies room on the plane.
The nurse explained, “Yes, you must have been having a great time until you pushed the Automatic Tampon Removal button.”
- Porky ! A little girl was leading her dog through the park when an old man stopped her, saying, ‘That`s sure a pretty dress you`re wearing.’
The little girl smiled, ‘Thank you, Sir. My mama bought it for me. This is my dog Porky.’
The old man chuckled, ‘I`ll bet a nickel I can…
- Watch your words ! Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.
He says, ‘How`d you get a cork in your ass?’
The other guy says, ‘I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp.There was a puff…
- Stop that ! Edward Lear, the 19th century English landscape painter, wrote affectionately of a favorite Duchess who gave enormous dinner parties attended by the cream of society.
One night she let out a ripper of a fart and quick as a flash, she turned her gaze to her stoic butler, standing, as…
- Dating woes ! This guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist ‘Listen, I have 3 girls coming over tonight. I never had 3 girls at once, I need something to keep me horny, keep me potent.’
So the pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small black card-board box marked with an ‘X’…
- Finding a virgin ! An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been (sexually) with a woman. After several nsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.
She ends up corresponding with a man…